LOLx1000000000000000 (aka NO THANKS).
Cowell to remake Saturday Night Fever
SIMON COWELL is on the verge of nailing a deal for the big-screen remake of classic movie Saturday Night Fever.
I've had a sneaking suspicion the Britain's Got Talent supremo has always fancied himself as the film's star JOHN TRAVOLTA since I uncovered the snaps of him as a 19-year-old on holiday.
I'm pretty sure he has spent a good few hours over the years prancing around his bedroom pretending to be disco king Tony Manero.
The millionaire music boss knows a great investment when he sees one. And by the sound of his plans for the remake he's landed yet another licence to print money.
He has been in negotiations for weeks with legendary film producer ROBERT STIGWOOD, who owns the rights to the screenplay.
The idea for the original 1977 blockbuster came after Robert saw an article in a US mag about teenagers going to dancing competitions.
And Simon has drawn up a wishlist of top talent to prove to Robert that his version will be a match for the classic.
I've been given a nod that High School Musical star ZAC EFRON is in line for the lead role.
And hip-hop uber producer TIMBALAND is in the frame to rework one of the most famous movie soundtracks of all time - an album that topped the US charts for a massive 24 weeks.
A source said: "Simon has been looking into buying the rights for years and opened discussions with Robert about the remake.
"The charm offensive has been in full swing and they made a breakthrough over the last couple of weeks. Robert was keen to get some assurances the original wouldn't be completely butchered before he agreed to the deal. Simon has been drawing up a list of people he wants to get involved. When that meets Robert's expectations, the contracts will be signed."
I'm in two minds about this film.
I have no doubt it would be huge if Cowell landed Efron.
But the BEE GEES soundtrack should never be tampered with. Robert used to manage the trio and got the brothers involved after one of their tracks was a hit in rehearsals with Travolta.
Also, the film might not work for a young audience. It is pretty bleak in some places, with some incredibly dark scenes.
I have no doubt Simon - who was on this year's rich list with a £120million fortune - will want to involve artists signed to his Syco label. LEONA LEWIS or ALEXANDRA BURKE might just about get away with Stayin' Alive.
Or he could always ask SUSAN BOYLE to do More Than A Woman.
I'm telling you the boy gets attached to every effing musical no matter how ridiculous.
p.s. sorry if the gifs kill your browsers (hee hee).